• tonyarevans

Therapy and the perfect pair of denim


How searching for the perfect pair of denim helped my accept my changing body and love the new me.



Nothing like searching for the perfect pair of denim. I remember finding my first pair of vintage jeans. It was a pair of 501 Levis with holes in the knees. I imagined them worn by some rocker or beautiful hippie who followed her favorite band all around the country. I loved that they looked like they had this fun, bad girl back story. I added nothing to them but an old t-shirt or tank top and a pair of heels off. And off I went on whatever big adventure.


Back in the day, I could wear almost any style of jeans and really never met a jean I didn’t like.


As a matter of fact, I have quite a few pair in my closet and a jacket and jeans used to be my go to look for everything.  But after trying on a few pair for a recent date night, I resorted to changing outfits because I couldn’t find a pair that wowed me or my body.

I was a little nostalgic thinking about all the jeans I’d loved before and the easy, fun, carefree look that jeans create. I wanted that feeling again and decided to do the unthinkable – go jeans shopping.


Back in the day, I could wear almost any style of jeans and really never met a jean I didn’t like.

I know! We all have a visceral reaction to jeans and swimsuit shopping. Admittedly even though jeans are a must have on my ultimate shopping list {get your free shopping list here}, it’s intimidating. So many washes. So many brands. So many styles. But the real challenge I was having was more mental than physical.


I had to accept that my body has changed and that the styles (and sizes) that worked before – well, now they just don’t. And that’s ok. I always tell my clients not hold on to clothes that no longer serve them.  But being on this side of that conversation with myself was harder than I thought.


I didn’t want to get rid of my jeans that made me feel so youthful and fun and fly! And just the thought of ‘moms jeans’ kept me clinging to my old pairs for dear life.

I struggled with letting go.  I had attached my jeans to so many memories and a really carefree, fabulous time in my life. I had a pair that I wore on my first trip to Paris. A owned a pair from my time living in DC – a time of self-discovery and growth. And I still had jeans for my pre-child days with the hubby.




So the first step in jeans shopping was to play personal coach to myself. “Let’s find some jeans that make you look and feel your best,” I said to myself.  “We’ll find jeans for you to make new memories in, ok?” Deep breath. Ok. I’m ready.


Step two was to find out what jeans looked great on me.  I took my measurements to discover which cuts would be most flattering for my silhouette. Click here for a short cut to to find out what jeans best flatter your body (i.e. booty). Cut is king.


Next I flipped through a few magazines to find looks I wanted to recreate and headed to Nordstrom. I would suggest that you head to one of the large department stores so that you can try on all of the brands in one location. And get your mind right.  I tried on over 20 pairs of jeans. I found some that flattered, enhanced, supported, etc. These are not your grandmothers jeans.  There are a ton of options that you have to wade through.


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You'll have to kiss a few frogs to find the perfect fitting jeans.

After kissing a few frogs, I feel in love with Paige denim in thePaige Manhattan Bootcut in Gardena. It feels like butter on my skin and I love the high waist and super length that elongates my legs. And I love the look of a jean that shows just the tips of your shoes. I went with a dark and light wash to start.


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