• tonyarevans

Be the white hat in your own life

Three ways to ignore the naysayers



Ok, were you as in love with the show Scandal as I was? I was obsessed. As a matter of fact, I was in at least two Scandal Facebook groups! We would talk about the show. We would talk about clues we thought we saw for future shows and of course how amazing Kerry Washington looked - in every freakin’ episode. She is another one of my girlfriends in my head! (She’s also the character who I want to play the lead in a book I’m writing!) But back to Scandal..I think her white hat solidified her as such a tv show icon for years to come. And when she wore that white hat you always knew something BIG was about to happen!

You don’t see many people wearing hats nowadays but I love them. I was put on to the hat game at a very young age because my Grandpa, Aunt Karla and Uncle Mose and Uncle Don all wore them and looked fabulous in them. As a matter of fact my first hat was one that I took over aka borrowed and never gave back’ from my Grandpa and from that day forward wore them endlessly in college.

I had cowboy shaped ones for class and everything from wide brimmed to fedora’s to wear out at night. And then one day, I stopped. Truth be told, I let someone say something negative to me about my hat that took the wind out of my sails. Basically it was something to the effect of, “You are being too extra,” and 20 year-old something me, didn’t know how to respond.

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon once said, “I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not trying.”

When the show Scandal came on, Kerry Washington in her white hat reminded me of how much I really loved and missed my hats. It also reminded me of how I have let one comment sometimes stray me off my path or stop me from doing something I was so excited about. Has that ever happened to you?

Maybe you have a big idea and you talk to a few friends who love it but it’s the one ‘negative Nancy’ that stops you from moving forward. Or maybe you want to lose weight or run a marathon, take a trip around the world and your family member (you know the one doing nothing) all of sudden becomes an expert in everything and shares all the reasons why you can’t make it happen.

Well if you're ever in that spot, here are a few tips on how to stop listening to the wrong voices and moving forward with confidence:

  1. Write a list of your why’s. It may sound silly but writing down why something is important to you or why you want to make a change will help you stay the course. Remember your why even if it's as small as, I like how hats help me express my individual style’ can help you keep your why front and center and keep you moving.

  2. Keep your mouth shut. Sometimes we get so excited about our dream that we want to shout it from the rooftops. Remember that everyone - even those that think they have your best interest at heart - may not be as enthusiastic as you are about change. Some of them fear change and project that fear on you. Sometimes it’s best to nurture your dream in the dark until it and you are ready.

  3. Get a team. Shutting your mouth doesn’t mean that you can’t get and don’t need support. Surround yourself with likeminded people. Tell that friend or family member who will hold you accountable. Join a mastermind, organization or Facebook group. You will be encouraged by seeing the success of others, learn from their previous success and have a cheering section that will let you know that you can do hard things when your journey becomes difficult.

My new hat collection was a reminder to not let the voices of others crowd out my own. Hats off to you for living your life with no regrets and for the change journey big or small that you are making right now!